so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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