Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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