I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Of course I have a pirate flag
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
