I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
