i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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