Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
