after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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