Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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