I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
operation have a gay friend backfired
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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