My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
