You smell like stripper and shame
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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