you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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