farters have to be the big spoon...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
