Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
