Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
