very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize