but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize