my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize