I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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