Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize