How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
