sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
