I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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