I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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