I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
