White coat. Heels.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize