They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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