if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize