you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
