I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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