U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
In America we eat man semen.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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