Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
