party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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