He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize