A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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