she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
