i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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