I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
