I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
