? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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