I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
