Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
