i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize