He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize