the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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