is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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