She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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