Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
