wrigley field is MILF paradise
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
