So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
