i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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