Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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