I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do herpes really smell.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i think i just lost a toe
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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