just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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