i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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