My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
