Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He has the fingertips of a God
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
