I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
