Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
