and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
