Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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