I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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