oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
