Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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