ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
