Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
