hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
