Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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